Lavender Smoke

I think I spent basically the entire weekend in bed, drifting in/out of sleep.

On Friday, I had a class in the morning (Music History II - Baroque to Classical). It just so happens to be my only class this semester that starts before 11 am, and everyone in it is basically dead and not paying attention (via thirsty thursdays). Then I went to my room and immediately when back to bed.
Friday night was the only time I 'went out,' I went with a friend to meet some people at a Karoke Bar in Chinatown. They had this awesome lychee martini thing, it tasted exactly like lychee fruit! I forgot that I like lychee (I just came back from the asian convenience store across the street, where I bought a large can of lychee).
Anywayz, thats pretty much all that I did this weekend, cause that Friday night's partying kept going on through Saturday (if you know what I'm sayin'). I didn't get back to my place until Saturday night, which made the 'walk of shame' a little less awkward since it was already dark out.

I had kinda made a 'new year's resolution' to not party so much, and concentrate on my classes. Its hard though, especially here in the city, where there is so much to do on the weekends. But I WILL accomplish this goal! I don't have much work yet, since it is the beginning of the semester, but I know the load will be coming soon, so I should really get to work now, before it gets harder.

Special Bonus!
Below is a goofy pic of me and my friend, Daniel (who also writes/does artwork for an awesome blog) in the crowd at the Girls/Real Estate/King Krule concert at Terminal 5 on January 14th! We both look ridiculous, but we had so much fun/the concert was a beautiful experience (via awesome vibes).

*I probably shouldn't tell you this, but he was so emotional during his favorite 'sad' songs that he cried--no joke, he really did (but just a few glistening tear drops I believe).

life via e-cards

Have you seen those e-cards that are kinda fancy-looking, but then say really ridiculous things? 

This is my current life in the form of some e-cards:

 *its so true.

 *at least I know I'm crazy

 

 *goddamn it.

Updates & The End of an Era

I don't think I posted anything in December. I am sorry for the absence, life is complicated, and I have poor time management skills....Soooo happy late holidays/new years! My you always find beauty in your life and know that the Sun will always be lit, even when it rains.
^^damn it. that was corny...but I just thought of it (i didn't get it from a fortune cookie).

I am on the second half of my winter break between semesters. I am starting to get lazy and bored. I just started using Twitter--which I actually like, more then another social media--expect for the fact that I'd rather not see what is 'trending' because it normally makes me want to cry (via stupidity and Bieber-lovers).
Oh, and please feel free to follow me! @ah_fez

Netfilx Instant has also been taking up a lot of my time in the past week. The last film I saw was, Cashback, which I highly recommend. It is a drama/independent film/semi-comedy/sorta-feel-good-romance about an young artist who deals with his insomnia by 'freezing time' and sketching people in their frozen positions. It was not what I expected from the Netflix description, it is actually very beautiful. I'd watch it again, it is sweet, and artistic, and creative (so naturally I liked it for not being 'mainstream' or whatever).

On Saturday, I am going back to the city for one night, to see Girls and Real Estate (and King Krule apparently?) at Terminal 5. It should be a great show, it sold out fairly fast. I am anxious/excited!

This SNL short makes me lawlzz.


Anyway, I don't remember much from DEcember, because I didn't post anything, and now its too late to refresh my memory...here are some delayed updates on my life:

-I missed my puppy sooo much, and I finally get to play with her all the time! Ok, I understand that I am crazy about my dog....I feel sorry for my friends. I am always saying "aww, look at this photo, isn't she so cuuuute! I love her so much!" and if I see a dog anywhere its: "oh my gawd, that doggy is so cute! I wanna cuddle with it."

- I finished my first semester of college at NYU! I should be really happy, but I actually didn't do that great, I am really disappointed with my grades. Don't let anyone fool you--college is so hard!! I will definitely have to study much more this coming semester to insure my scholarships. If I do worse, my parents [have threatened to/will] not pay anymore for my $60,000 a year tuition for a music degree....(with my scholarships and loans, they pay less than $30,000 a year, but that is still way more than they can afford, and I will be in debt to my loans for the rest of life).

- A while back, I made a bucket list with my roommate, on things that we need to do while in NYC.
Here are some things we've already done: The Daily Show/Colbert Report, Webster Hall, BBQ, rooftop parties, get busted, 'combine elements', Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree, and some other stuff that I don't remember (along with some other stuff that we should have put on the list).

- A friend of mine had a "republican debate viewing party" I strongly disagree with the politics if the conservative right, but so does she, and everyone who attended the party. She made up a drinking game for the debate that had at least 6 rules, not including obvious ones (i.e. drink every time someone says 'jobs'). Some where very specific: do a shot every time Ron Paul interrupts. But my favorite one was, chug a beer if anyone says something ridiculously racist/sexist--which did happen.  

That is good for now.
Goodnight xx

PS. Do you believe there will be an apocalypse, and the world will end in 2012?!? Apparently NASA had to make an announcement saying that the world will NOT end, and everyone should not worry....haha. My father, who grew up in Mexico City, tells me that the Mayans predicted some kind of 'eras' that where lengths of times larger than years (related to astronomy). It is understood that the Mayans did not say that time would 'end' in 2012, they just believed it to be the beginning of an era, in which something will be different (kind of like the ice age). However, I am not quite sure. I just don't think any of this apocalypse stuff is true.  

#OccupyingMyBed

Saturday, 9:00 pm:
Layin' in my bed right now...too tired to do anything tonight, I think I'm staying in....maybe I will actually do some work?

I am still kinda fucked-up from last night (via goin' haaaam). Hung out with some cool kids, went to some cool places, yeah.

Listening to some good shit (via last.fm mix radio, hatin' on spotify right now)

Occupy Wall Street-ers were in Washington Square earlier today. So many dirty hippies! I like what they are trying to do, but everyone knows that they haven't really organized yet, and a lot of the people participating are not completely sure on what the whole thing is about. But I really hope this inspires action in Congress, I am definitely in the 'other 99%'.

There are a ton of great spin-offs on Occupy Wall Street (ie. Occupy Sesame Street).

Sunday, 7:00 pm:
What is with these men-ups?? I think they are actually kinda funny, but a little bit disturbing. But hey, if that's what your into...

Sunday Monday, 2:00 am:
Naw, fuck it! I am going to sleep.

sorry for selling out.

so...really sorry about putting adds on this blog, i know its a pain in the ass...but i couldn't find a federal work-study job at nyu...and i kinda want to make a few dollars here and there (and i dont plan on being a drug dealer).

i dont really know how it works, but it think every time some one on clicks on an add on this blog, I make a couple cents or something..? i don't expect to make anything, but even a few dollars a month would be cool. 

i promise not to spend the money i make from this blog on drugs or alcohol. i'll probably use it for groceries or socks/shoes or something.  

thank you for your understanding.

much love. peace & prosperity.

-Ana xx

ps. a vid for enjoyment:

*portugal. the man are 'so american'--but in a good way.

I'm Wasting Time Sleeping

So I haven't written a post since I have moved to New York City...and I really want to take a nap right now, so here are some hints to whats up in my life:

Voices of the People, Jesse Eisenberg, poetry, James Franco, Palo Alto, books, thrift store shopping, yoga.
partying, getting busted, getting lost, new york city, nyu, new friends, food, photography, music, film, beirut, pot lucks/cooking, jam sessions.
concerts, long island, toro y moi, beirut, fleet foxes, interpol/portugal the man, matt and kim/girl talk, wavves/neon indian/flaming lips, glasser/elbow, PANDA BEAR.
record stores, Steve Reich, Miles Davis, Bitches Brew.

yeah, thats whats up.

Real Love//Wishful Thinking

The past week has been full of long nights of staying out late in Barcelona (in the clubs and on the beach). It has consisted of Twix and kabobs at 4:00 am (on friday) and hamburgers and cereal at 5:00 am (on monday). Good food that late at night/early in the morning is the best.
I only have a few nights left in Barcelona, tonight, tomorrow, friday, and saturday. "Fly Me to the Moon Festival" is tonight and tomorrow (the Animal Collective and Beach House concert), so I only have friday and saturday to go out with friends for the last time here. I'm tired of staying out late so often, but everyone here does it, and most people do it much more than I do. However, I love meeting new and interesting people and just having fun being close to friends. When I remember that, I feel like it is almost better to go out and do my body harm by not sleeping again (versus sleeping and missing the 'fun').    

I love the 'natural' kind of simple fun more than this crazy 'fun' that does not always end happily. It brings me more happiness than anything else, the Fleet Foxies know what I mean:

**I like playing with sparklers in the park too...it may sound childish, but its unaltered 'real' fun.

Its quite true:



'If we ever meet again--will we ever?'
*will we ever meet again?

So much life is wasted in wishful thinking.
Wanting so much to meet again--how can that be possible?
Lives continue, and there is no room for the unexpected.
Little time left, it is nearly worthless to try.
What more can be done? You've waited for the last chance once again.
Wishful thinking will get you no where this time.

¿Otro por favor?

It's so hard to stay up-to-date on posts. I keep falling asleep every time i get the chance (probably because I have been staying out super late--till 5 am--all week). But yesterday, I spent the entire day sleeping, cleaning/organizing, and talking to friends for hours on Skype. I didn't ever leave the apartment, I hardly even left my room (which worried my home-stay mother), but I really needed to rest for a day.

My super-sweet, really awesome roommate left a few days ago/ I miss her a ton. She was so friendly and we got along so well! Most of the friends, that I have made here, left yesterday as well. I hope I don't have to say I will never see them again, because even though I may have only known them for a few weeks, it feels like a life time. I am going to tell everyone that I've met in Barcelona (from all over the world) that they will always have an invitation to stay with me in NYC for a few nights if they ever want to visit, which I hope they do.

Have you ever drunken a 'cortado'? I forgot how amazing coffee in Europe is....trying hard not to drink to much everyday, I don't want to become a caffeine addict. A cortado is a coffee drink (one of three that are common), it is an expresso/cappuccino I guess...anyway its so much better than anything from starbucks. I do miss iced coffee though. If I wake up late and the coffee is already cool, then I attempt to make my self an iced-soy-coffee.
Other food that is really good and not available in the US: turon, hamon serrano, Lemon flavored Fanta, and well I can't remember anything else right now. But I miss peanut butter! I found out that the restaurant/bar Dostrece has breakfast food--american breakfast food. I almost cried when I found out that I can get a pb&j bagel. More than definitely going to have one on monday morning.

What I've been listening too a ton this weeked:



*best song on the album. funny how she doesn't sound that great live, but she sings on most of their best songs.



*I love: 'if I could just leave my body for the night!' It is such an integral part of human nature--the want to feel 'free' and 'alive' and 'connected to the universe'.

Focus

I want to do a lot of things while I'm still relatively young. One of those such things is backpacking in (eastern-ish) Europe. I can use my family's airline miles to get there, so I would only have to save up enough to get a plane ride home.

I would play music or do performance art on the streets to make spending cash. Sleep in hostles or tents, carry all my belongings on my back, travel by foot or train, experience new adventures, and communicate with language barriers. Maybe I could be like Zach Condon (Beirut)...if you don't know who he is, you are missing out (please look him up).

I've talked to a few friends about this, but you have to be very careful/serious when picking a traveling partner. I would perferably want to travel with a guy, but someone who does not create sexual tension. It just makes things more stressful and complicated, I'd want to be with someone who is like a brother to me (that way they can protect me from other men).

Have you or anyone you know done this before? For how long? What are the pros/cons?

Its too early to make plans for next summer, but I dont plan on being home for long. I guess I could backpack for the summer, but it might be better after I graduate college (so it can be in a transition period/break). However, I might just stay in NYC if I get an internship, and take summer classes meanwhile. Or I could try to get a job in Europe for the summer in someplace like Helsinski or Prague? That would be amazing. I might recieve Spanish citizenship this week (if I finally have all of the correct forms), and that would give me European citizenship, which would give me a better chance at finding work in Europe (or so I hope). 

I leave for Barcelona in less than 2 weeks.

Wah wah wah.

I have been to sleepy to write a post. Every time I start a new post, I can't think of anything to write about, and then I fall asleep before I have anything written. So I just realized I should write about that...I'm probably going to fall asleep in the next 5 minute though...

Ok, update on my life:
- I graduated from hs on friday (freedom?!)
- spent the last 2 weeks party-hoppin grad parties and eating too much cake
- met a lot of cool, interesting people...many of them going to school in NYC (maybe i'll chill with them next year?)
- sucked at poker and lost in a game of pool
- gave my dog a bath (she looks like a rodent when wet)
- made fun of mainstreamers
- continued to read more poetry collections and trying to understand The Tibetan Book of the Dead (so many words and buddhist things i've never heard of. but i still like it).
- forgot to turn my car engine on; almost rolled down a hill into another car...
- fake cried on camera (after going on a photoshoot in a parking lot, at midnight)
- played lots of Settlers of Catan, but still havent won.
- watched Bill Maher* tell some great political jokes
- i know there's more, but i am starting to fall asleep--like i said I would

*He's too funny, go to his website, and then click on 'Media' to watch some of his best stuff.

Sunburnt

Yep. I got sunburnt. :/
Luckily, only on the top/front of my shoulders. I am normally very cautious with protecting my skin, since I was a lifegaurd. I used sunscreen today, but clearly not enough. It was sooo hot and humid yesterday, record breaking temperatures near 100 degrees (and I live very far from the equator).  

This is only one of 3-ish times that i have ever been (lobster-red) sunburnt.
The worst/funniest time, was when I was on vacation with my family 2 summers ago, in Cancún. We had the entire day to just sleep under the palm tree huts. My entire family feel asleep for over an hour in the shade. Well, it turned out that the shade didn't really protect us from UV rays....we woke up and went back to the hotel. When we looked in the mirror, all of us had very distinct red-white tan lines. It was quite embarrasing, going out for dinner that night, everyone stared. You think I would have learned my lesson.

Really worried about skin-cancer now (via ozone depletion), and using sunscreen with dangerous toxins in them...kinda wonder if the FDA even tests Sunscreens...in the end, everyone has to die somehow, so i guess i am not that worried, just upset.

Watched One Week on Netflix Instant Watch today. It was alright, I liked the idea of it, but it could have been a better film. The main character (a young, healthy man) is diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, and decides to adventure before he becomes a cancer patient.
I think I would do the same, if I was still relatively healthy. Once one starts agressive cancer treatment, the (physical and emotional) agony is great, that fulfilling lifelong wishes (via the bucketlist) is pretty hard to do.

What would you do if you had one day, one week, or one month to live?
Would you want to adventure on your own, or stay home with friends and family?

Crazii

This time of year is pretty crazii. But I guess I'm kinda happy right now? Not everything is the way I wish it were, but it is what it is.
I've acknowlegded that I tend to find beauty in unconventional ways, I don't think I know how not to... I love sharing my enlightening/expressive visions with open-minded people; that means a lot in my mind, thank you (to all those people in my life that kinda 'understand me' a lil).
Also, thanks for everyone who lets me get to know them on a sub-surface level (via sharing idealistic philosophies and enlightening moments). Being able to do that is kinda beautiful in its own way aswell, I hope you think so too.

Anyway, here are some pics of friends & dogs that I also took with an slr camera/color film. Love these people/animals:





Cloudy.

Sitting in AP Pyschology, trying to do something to keep myself busy/alert so i dont fall asleep. I'll finish this later...(11:47 am).

Back. 3:01 AM
Can't sleep, too busy watchin Ali G/making fun of my friend passed out on my couch/and Alex really 'winky' still. lawls.
I felt pretty infinte tonight, driving around with a car full of close friend, screaming to Sufjan Steven's Imposible Soul:



Do you ever stare at the ceiling and imagine yourself walking on it upside down?
Did you star-gaze tonight? It was really clear and beautiful tonight.
Do you like Swifel Sweepers? So tired of 3 AM commercials!

Tired Eyes

My eyes are closing, too tired to write a real post. feeling kinda sad (about life), i should go to sleep now.
The only thing that i am thinking about (besides sleeping and having to wake up extra early tomorrow) is if i want to go see Bright Eyes and M. Ward or not. There are playing at a venue only a few miles from my house, i guess i should go.

Blank.

My mind is so full of junk, that i am empty of expression. I assume. However, creativity best flows in chaos.


Blank.


Wasteful.


Creation.


Blank.


Empty.


Fulfillment.


Blank.


Lost.


Overcome.


Blank.


Blank.


Blank.


Blank.


Blink.


Blank.

Things That Make Me Genuinely Happy:

• cute puppies/animals
• roasting marshmallows
• laughing too much 
• cuddling
• napping on couches
• playing with silly putty/clay
• comfortable silences
• clicky pens
• finding candy/chocolate in my lunch
• driving around on a sunny day
• chillaxin' with my 'bros' and 'hoes'
• having deep discusion on life/music/everything
• "things hugging things" (via animalswithstuffedanimals)
• being goofy
• dancing in cars

I can't think of anything else right now, but I know there are more.

**on another note, isn't James Blake beautiful?

<3 u.

bblllaaahhhaaagggghhhh

^^that is how i feel right now.
I feel: exhausted, happy, congested (cold or allergies?), sleepy, so relieved, and unproductive.

Yesterday was really busy. But everything worked out, and went almost flawlessly.
I had a great time partyin'/hangin'/dancin'/eatin' with some of my closest friends. I love that I can be a complete goofball with my friends, and they still love me anyway! I am going to cry when I leave for NYU, and I might not see some of my friends ever again.

Anyway, here is a video for the Panda Bear song, Alsatian Darn, from Tomboy.